As part of an effort to completely overhaul my life in the next year, I’ve decided to start a blog to track my progress. And let’s face it- it’s hard enough being a 25 year old single woman trying to make it on her own in Silicon Valley. So why not put it all out there so strangers can show me love, threaten me, send me money, food, body hair, etc.
I hated this past year. I’m still torturing myself over the same man I was a year ago, I hate my job, and I still can’t afford to eat at Ruth’s Steakhouse in San Francisco. What kind of life is that? So here’s a breakdown of what I’m trying to accomplish in the new year:
1. The Guy: Justin. I fell hard for him the moment he first made me laugh. Immediately, I saw a guy who was good and sincere and so many other things- he was everything I was looking for. And it seemed like I was everything he was looking for. We dated for a few months, until he decided he was not yet ready to take that step into a serious relationship- consequently breaking me. I’ve known him for over a year now and not once have I succeeded in not being in love with him no matter how many times I’ve tried. So I took a break from him for a few months, and then decided I was strong enough to be his friend as I still wanted him in my life. We’re currently doing the friendship thing, but it’s gotten harder and harder. Old feelings have re-surfaced for both of us, but he is still indecisive and thus still torturing me. So now I have to decide- is he worth keeping in my life? Can I be his friend knowing that he may never be mine? And if I need to cut him out, can I? What really kills me is that I always thought we were so good together. We ARE good together. It’s still evident even in our “friendship”. Here is a man who embodies everything I love in a man- and I can’t even have him.
I need to close this situation once and for all. Whether it means cutting him out of my life, going on a million dates to get him out of my system, accepting him as a friend and nothing more, or… the sweetest possibility- us. Finally. But whatever it is, I’ve got to do something because I can’t keep torturing myself over this guy for another year. I’m so tired. I can feel it in my bones.
2. The Job: I work at prominent corporation in Silicon Valley that will be known in this blog as “Silicon Valley Giant” aka “SVG”. I love the company, but I hate my job. I sit here and analyze lines of data all day and I work in IT. My degree and passion is in Communication. Obviously there is a gap here. So this year, I am going to try to move into the Communications field within my company, and hopefully change my dismal salary to a decent one. I want to love what I do, and I want to afford the lifestyle that enables me to travel, get a bookcase rather than using cardboard boxes, and satisfies my appetite for incredible (aka expensive) food. Speaking of food…
3. I love food. I love wine. I love trying new restaurants. So this blog will also be about any incredible food and wine I have the opportunity to experience. I don’t think anyone should be denied a really fabulous dish just because they have no clue where to find it. Also, well… I just really love talking about food (and eating it!).
And because I love eating, I have to counteract that with some sort of physical activity. Sex, if I’m lucky. But also through yoga. I am a devout and obsessed yoga student. I love what it does for me physically and spiritually. My last goal is to incorporate the teachings and principles of yoga into my daily life, because I think the world would be a more beautiful place if we all did just that. Oh yeah, and to get some.
So here’s to hoping 2008 will be a MUCH better year than 2007! And because I am an attention whore, please feel free to leave any comments- even if they are to just tell me how badly I smell.