In my last post, I mentioned that I would never really actually start a fling with my yoga instructor, despite our hot & heavy email exchanges.
Well… now, I’m not so certain.
Again, this goes back to my inability to resist temptation. But then again, I haven’t had any real flings since I met Justin. Before I met him, I was all about dating numerous guys and sleeping around with them even if I didn’t really like them. I wasn’t looking for anything serious- I just wanted to have fun where I could get it and to take advantage of the fact that I was young and could get away with it. It was all about giving in to temptation.
Then I met Justin, and he made me want to throw that all away in exchange for him- just him. After I met Justin, I couldn’t see or want anyone else but him. And so it remained that way from the moment we met.
Fast forward a year and a half later, and I am still here wanting Justin. I am still here in the same place wanting, yearning, hoping. And I am tired.
Then walks in Brad, my yoga instructor. Brad who is someone new; a breath of fresh air. Brad who, to quote him directly: “…entirely… unbelievably… distractingly… so wants…” me. Brad, who has awoken in me that girl from a former life, where all she was looking for was instant gratification and feeling good. There were never any messy emotions to deal with in that former life- just as I know there won’t be with Brad. With him, it’ll be purely about making each other feel good- and perhaps that is exactly what I need right now.
I know there’s the possibility that sleeping with Brad will just make me miss Justin more. But on the flip side, there’s also the possibility that it may distract me from Justin- even if only temporarily. And that possibility is worth taking the risk.
As I write this, Brad is eager, wanting, and waiting to hear my decision. And let me tell you, it’s nice to make someone else wait for once.